16 Advantages and Disadvantages of the Authoritarian Parenting Style (2023)

Different parenting styles are practiced across the world. One of the most common is the authoritarian parenting style.

This parenting method is often expressed by the phrase "Because I said so." Parents demand that their children follow this style. Rewards and consequences are then offered based on the levels of acceptance offered by the child. Descriptions liken the authoritarian parent to a king, queen, or dictator. Your domain becomes the law of the house.

Every family is a little different. Some parents even use various styles with their children to create the home they want. Here are the pros and cons of the authoritative parenting style to review if you're considering this option.

List of advantages of authoritarian parenting style

1. Children listen better to authority figures in authoritarian parents.
Children who come from authoritarian families are often easy to spot. It is the children who always obey their teachers and other adults. The authority figures in their lives are not questioned. Instead, they focus on completing their tasks calmly and smoothly, no matter how difficult the circumstances may be. Many of these children describe themselves as the "best behaved children" others know, reinforcing behavior at home and in public places.

2. Kids want to do the right thing when they grow up in this style.
Authoritative parents tell their children the right and wrong choices for every decision they make. This discussion shows children what it means to be "good" and "bad" based on the choices they make. Because these conversations are proactive, children raised in this parenting style often seek proactive solutions to problems they believe are arising before a decision needs to be made. This creates a less reactive child, which means he is also less impulsive.

3. Children of authoritarian parents are goal-oriented.
As children grow up with strict expectations and rules in this parenting style, they are more likely to set goals. They understand that if they do task A and then work on task B, they will be rewarded with something. This lays the groundwork for persistence as an entrepreneur, ambition in hierarchical environments, and a desire to succeed because it reflects well on you and your family.

4. Children from authoritarian homes place a high value on security.
Authoritarian parents also create rules outside the home. Your goal is to keep your children as safe as possible in whatever circumstances they are going through. They will practice situations with their children to help them be confident in their own decisions when a problem situation arises. This process helps children know what decisions to make and gives parents more confidence in their children and how they make decisions.

5. Children of authoritarian parents learn responsibility from an early age.
Children whose parents use this style will always try to make what they consider to be a moral choice. While their skill development may be lacking in certain areas, depending on the rules established in the family, there is resilience built into the approaches each child uses. They build excitement for themselves by completing goals or participating in parent-approved activities. These kids don't steal or make trouble because there's no long-term reward for doing so.

6. Children receive instruction without fuss with this parenting style.
Other forms of parenting allow children to work out problems on their own. This creates confusion for the child when he is not sure how to proceed. With an authoritative parent, there is no confusion. Children are given a clear set of expectations to follow, often accompanied by specific step-by-step instructions to help them complete their tasks. Everyone in the family fits into a role that provides a sense of satisfaction from a job well done, when everyone and everything works as it should.

7. Children of authoritarian families keep their word.
Authoritarian parents are often misunderstood as encouraging perfectionism. This parenting style recognizes that mistakes happen. What to Expect After Failure involves two specific steps: getting it right and learning from the experience. Children are expected to find ways to heal people who have harmed them in some way. They are taught that every mistake is a learning opportunity, giving them a chance to be a little better the next day. It can cause problems for children, who often make mistakes in the very area that most overbearing parents consider "not trying," but it does create an environment where accountability is a priority.

List of Disadvantages of the Authoritarian Parenting Style

1. Children get angry in authoritarian homes.
Children of authoritarian parents live in constant fear. Although they have an idea of ​​their expectations and often do their best to live up to them, they don't know if Mom or Dad will change their mind. Even with strict rules and regulations, children don't always understand where they went wrong. It does not explain why certain expectations or activities must be met in the required manner. Over time, children often become angry with their lives, their circumstances, and their relationship with their parents.

2. Children from authoritarian families have low self-esteem.
Children who interact with authoritarian parents get used to following orders. They base their self-esteem on how their parents perceive them rather than how they see themselves. Because this parenting style focuses more on negative choices than positive ones, children often think they "can never do anything right." They think in black and white absolutes, where failures occur most often. Your main focus is to obey and then be quiet.

3. Children from authoritarian families see society differently.
Children of authoritarian parents are rarely given the “luxury” of thinking for themselves. They are always being told how to do things, when to work and what time to follow. Opportunities to share an opinion or find a creative solution are minimal. This turns these children into adults with an altered sense of reality when dealing with the rest of society. They become narrow-minded because they were never allowed to be open-minded in the first place.

4. Children are forced to rely on rules.
Parents who use the authoritative style will create boundaries that cannot be crossed if they follow the rules. Every behavior and every choice is subject to evaluation by expected expectations. There is a right and a wrong choice for every situation, although there may not be a right or wrong choice in an actual situation. As children are forced to rely on rules to make decisions, uncertain situations without clear answers generate doubts in children, which can affect their learning compared to children with other parenting styles.

5. Children of authoritarian families often rebel.
Kids see the privileges other kids deserve (or, of course, get with permissive parents) and they want the same at home. Most authoritarian parents do not allow for a permissive environment and set the stage for rebellion. Older children sometimes break rules at home to test boundaries or to see how the decision makes them feel. As the child grows older, he may participate in activities that he knows his parents will disapprove of to demonstrate his independence. When this type of situation arises, it is not uncommon for the parent or child to have an estranged relationship with other family members.

6. Children lack flexibility in terms of desired outcomes.
Authoritarian parents don't look at the results a child achieves. They look at the processes used to arrive at the result. Even if your children are successful, this type of parenting will have consequences if certain steps are not taken. This approach impedes creativity, innovation and the development of relationships within the family structure. Even worse, when a conflict arises, the child immediately knows that his parents blame him, for authoritarian parents rarely feel guilty.

7. Children of authoritarian parents see bullying as something normal.
The most serious cases of bullying occur when one child realizes that the other is not good at a certain sport. Children are more likely to be bullied when they identify with the LGBTQIA+ community. This happens more often in authoritarian families because the child sees someone their own age who doesn't play by the same rules. The social attitudes of the parental home are manifested at school. Authoritative parents hold their children to the same standards, so they do to others what their parents do to them. It is not considered "wrong" because it "encourages" others to live up to expectations.

8. Children derive few tangible rewards from the authoritarian style.
Many parents who practice the authoritarian style work with the idea that a job well done is rewarding enough. Actual displays of affection or tangible rewards for meeting expectations are rare. The main payoff for these kids is that they don't get consequences for anything. Since there is no tolerance for evil, many children feel isolated from their family because their parents don't care about them unless they end up doing something wrong.

9. Children don't know who develops the definition of "right".
Authoritarian parents often come from families with a similar parenting style. They were raised that way, so they will raise their children that way. The problem within these families involves defining "correct" and "incorrect" in each case. Many definitions are based on real-life experiences or past situations, but this definition may also change from time to time. When children have authoritative parents who don't set strict guidelines for their children, the whole situation becomes a scolding. This can lead to abusive situations that put the child at risk.

The intricacies of authoritarian parenting teach us that following the rules "no matter what" creates a sense of morality, but at the expense of individuality. A balanced approach that allows for self-expression and creativity, combined with some of the normative expectations, often works best when trying to create a balanced view of the future.